fallingpegasus (fallingpegasus) wrote in angry_lace,

Not another parental rant

Yep, it is! I'm not usually one to post all over the internet when I get annoyed about something, but today I am particularly pissed off at my mother for her complete and utter lack of support for anything I want to do, and today, that includes lolita. Oh, and her entitlement issues.

I'm a new loli, though I've been lurking through the communities for about two or three years now, learning what I can and saving up for something nice. The other day, AP released its Twinkle Carnival series. I adored the print, and I had the money, so I bought the ivory & gold JSK for myself with refund money I got from a school loan. There's only one little problem: I can't fit into it just yet. I've been watching what I eat and going to the gym, and I've lost 20 pounds since mid-September, though I've still got about 30 more pounds to go before I reach my goal. I bought the dress because I didn't want to miss out on a gorgeous print like I had with many other AP prints when I hesitated, and because I wanted a little more motivation. ;)

The dress arrived today, and upon excitedly showing it to my mother, I was immediately given a verbal beat down. I'm so fucking stupid for wasting my money on something that's never going to fit me. I was "too stupid" to use the Yen to USD conversion, or to note that the sizes were in cm. (What the fuck? I was using the SF website so the currency was in USD, which she attempted to locate but went to the Japanese site instead, so she screamed at me for something she didn't even know what she was talking about.) And above all, "THAT DRESS IS NEVER GOING TO FIT YOU. IT'S MADE FOR JAPANESE GIRLS WITH NO TITS OR ASS." All attempts to politely inform her that yes, I know the dress won't fit me right now, and that she was wrong about pretty much everything resulted in her shouting over me with, "IT'S NEVER GOING TO FIT YOU." Oh, and "YOU'RE AN IMBECILE. THAT WAS MY MONEY YOU SPENT." Lol no, it actually wasn't. It was my student loan refund, and there is STILL $800 left of it that I was going to give her for mortgage payments. Money that I AM GOING TO HAVE TO PAY BACK AND HAVE NO REQUIREMENT TO GIVE HER, but I still live at home, and because I try to be a good person. I don't want to see us lose our house. But that's not good enough, I guess.

Thanks, Mom! All of those are great things to say to someone who has struggled with her appearance her entire life and who could use motivation from her family. But fuck it. Have fun continuing to sit on your ass and further deteriorate your health by smoking and eating crappy food all the time. While you're doing that, I'm going to keep going to the gym and losing weight, and I'm going to wear my dress in a few months, whether you think so or not.

JESUS. That was longer than I intended, but I hope any other lolis with unsupportive parents (for whatever reason) will have further proof that they're not alone. You can do anything if you put effort into it, I believe. ♥

Tags: family, first post

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